I'm finally back from a two week hiatus in Charleston that has since changed the course of the next 6 months of my life. But that's another story. I've been ridiculously busy and had no Internet for several weeks now but I suppose it's time I pick up the keyboard again and get to it.
Not too long ago I read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". Not wanting to read a heavy book right after finals, I found it on a bookshelf at my mom's and assumed my grandmother picked it up on sale at Borders. It actually was pretty on point. A quick read, I figured I'd laugh my way through it like I do Maxim or Cosmo. As it turns out Steve Harvey really was going to give women a point by point on the way men think.
I've grown up with mostly guy friends for as long as I can remember. I have always been more comfortable with them and have come to grasp the basic way they think. Scary though it is, most of my guy friends will tell me I think more like one than they do. C'est la vie when their advice rubs off. I have my over-analyzing, calculating and/or emotional "female" moments, but in general, I feel that stuff gets in the way of fixing what ever the problem is and moving on with life.
Which is one of Steve Harvey's points. Women are emotional. They love in every capacity and talk through everything. Men love through providing, protecting and professing. They talk to fix something. Once there's a solution he can put into order then he's done with the conversation. They are simple creatures. But women don't understand this. Which is the point of the movie "He's Just Not that Into You" that came out last February. Instead of poking fun at the men, this movie made fun of the advice women give to each other. Every one I heard coming out of the theatre full heartily agreed on how true to life it was. This is a sad statement. The advice women give to each other about men is terrible.
Put it this way, I go to my male friends when I want a solution and a truthful answer about a guy's behavior; I probably won't want to hear their answer but it will be the one that is closest to the truth and that I already know is true. I go to my female friends when I'm not really to hear the real answer. When I want to hear the "oh he's probably just....It's nothing about you" answer.
Women will make up every excuse in the book for a man's behavior. Which is why when we set standards men ignore them. They don't have to stand up to the standards because they know we will excuse their way out of it for them. It's sad. I've listened to my friends make excuses to stay in abusive, manipulative and adulterous relationships. I've listened to them excuse inconsideration, addiction and unacceptable behavior from their significant others then turn around and tell another friend they should get out of a similar situation. I've made excuses for the males in my life. I've listened to my grandmothers do it for their sons and my friends' parents do it for them. For whatever reason boys can get away with things that girls would get berated for in a second and it sticks with us through dating and into marriage and then into child rearing. It is a terrible cycle.
Steve Harvey's advice to stop this is for women to set their expectations and standards then stick by them. Don't give an inch and either the man will step up to the plate and be a man or he won't. If he won't he's not worth it. He doesn't like that men get out of everything anymore than most women do. But he points out that men don't grow up because there is no one there to make them do it anymore. If women want to have men around instead of boys they should make them step up to the plate. Cut out the losers that cannot respect you, love you and trust you. Expect more of men, make them meet the expectations and eventually they should get there. In fact SH would like more guys to read his book as an opportunity to be aware of how to become men. Mothers need to impose these standards on their sons as well. "Boys will be boys" is only an excuse. Three year old males can have just as impeccable manners as thirty three year old men.
And women need to stop giving each other terrible advice. Stop making excuses for them. If they want excuses make them come up with their own. And stop over analyzing and over thinking them. If he has worked all day and comes home and says he's tired, he's probably tired. Let him have twenty or thirty minutes to watch the game in peace before asking him to do dishes or fix something. You wouldn't want someone in your face the moment you walked in the door. It has nothing to do with his lack of interest in you. If he doesn't want to cuddle after sex it's not because he's less attracted to you after sex like Cosmo tells you, he's probably hot, tired, hungry or any combination of the three. For most guys, your man just worked out harder than he does all week in 30 minutes. Give his body a chance to regain its homeostasis and then try and cuddle. If you really crave that physical touch try it with a hand on his thigh or arm and not a suffocating, leg intertwining choke hold and you might see a better response. Only if his behavior is wildly out of the normal should you put up red flags. Say for instance he starts coming home later, kissing/smelling different, volunteering extra information and snapping at questions...THEN you can assume some thing's up. But if you accost him he's only going to get defensive. If you wait, all things come out in the wash, and you'll find out the truth. Not to say you're going to like the truth or you have to stay with him but if you turn ugly right away it's going to become a rip apart battle to the death.
And men, not every woman is crazy. Yes, you may not get us but nine times out of ten, arguments happen because of miscommunication. You will figure out what her quirks are within the first two weeks of dating her. For some women it's being respectful of her time. You might be intending to leave your buddies and be at her house at 5 but then you get distracted playing video games or decide to have another beer. Most women are not going to get upset about this if you just pick up the phone and call/text her what's going on. And by this I mean "hey I know you're planning ...........but I am having one more beer with the guys which means I won't be there for another .........minutes/hour." Try this instead of just coming home whenever you're done and then explaining what happened. She'll be more responsive to the first approach. If the woman's stickler is putting the seat down (and most women prefer this) than put the seat down at her house or parent's home. If it's you're house that's a different story, she shouldn't expect you to put it down at her house in respect for her lifestyle if she can't put it down at your house out of respect for yours. If you're married then that is a whole different battle.
All it is about is communication. Women, simplify your expectations and verbalize them to men. Do not assume they will pick up on hints (because they won't) or read your mind (because they can't). Men, if you just respect our time and our quirks you will get a lot farther than if you resist them. Either accept us for us or move on. You cannot change us any more than we can change you and if a woman has a quirk about putting her shoes in a row before going to bed chances are it isn't going to change. If you at least make an effort to put your shoes next to each other instead of four feet apart she's going to notice and appreciate it. Also, not every day is a picnic but women want to talk when it happens and men generally need to take a few minutes. Take the few minutes. Women, your thoughts will generally clear up as well and both of you will say more rational, less hurtful things. Men, keep your anger in check, this isn't a WWF arena. No holes in the walls please. Women, stop beating a dead horse. Once you figure out a solution or one of ya'll apologizes, drop it. It's done. No use in harboring resentment. And don't bring it up to beat each other one more time 2 years down the road.
Men and women are not always going to get along perfectly. We're wired differently and we are not going to understand each other at times. Ok most of the time. But it doesn't have to be as ridiculous as it's gotten. Those people whose relationships have lasted time have told me time and time again that the key to their commitment is respecting each other, talking through things and accepting each other, strange quirks and all. If both parties do this it seems to work so I'm not sure why the majority of us have such a problem with this? Maybe if we can learn to laugh at ourselves first through things like movies and books than maybe we can begin to learn more about the opposite sex and respect what makes them tick. For now though I'm just going to be stuck in my weird little box with my fence-sitting male/female mind wondering why my female friends don't get men and why my male friends slack off. It's not such a conundrum.
24 July 2009
19 June 2009
Working Together
So I really haven't had much to write about lately. Nothing has inspired me to write. However today I was Twittering and I came across this article/blog. I really believe that he's on to something. Creating collaborative environments is something I think we have lost lately. It has been more important for the "I"'s in our lives than the communities. I think that Whittemore's article is interesting and while it is not my work I would like to share it.
Creating Ecosystems for Collaboration Around Social Innovation
by Nathaniel Whittemore
category: collaboration
Published June 12, 2009 @ 09:56AM PT
(One of my students and his partner in a collaboratively-designed after school sports program in Kampala, Uganda, 2007)
Andrew Wolk has a short but important post up about his recent attendence at the Future Trends Forum in Madrid, Spain. In it he shares one of his major take-aways about a new take on collaboration:
I left Madrid with two takeaways I thought were worth sharing. The first was a general agreement that we have been too focused on scale by replication, and have not thought enough about scaling ideas. While this is not new for this blog, I heard a new angle on what should be an increased emphasis on collaboration. As one attendee put it, we do not need another water filtration system to solve the world’s clean water access problem; rather, we need to bring everyone working on the issue of clean water together to collaborate and work on a distribution system of the best solutions.
I'm a member of an extremely collaborative generation. Our use of social tools, our experience in group based learning and other factors have predisposed us to working together where possible.
For example, I'm the member of the Consortium for Student Global Service, a group of student-founded global service organizations that convened to support the work of peer groups, and which has recently collaborated with Change.org on the new Global Service blog. What is interesting to me about it is that I know for a fact that these organizations have to, by definition, compete for resources. There simply aren't enough institutional founders for all of us to get our big pay day. The tone and tenor of the group though is all about the idea that each of the different groups have something slightly different and complementary to offer one another, and that rather than competing for the scraps off the donor table, we should be thinking about ways to better leverage our networks and get creative about social enterprise strategies to generate the resources we need to thrive.
Moreover, my work with the Northwestern University Global Engagement Summit and my new startup Assetmap has all been focused, to greater or lesser degrees, on enabling great people and ideas to find one another in order to create something magical. What I've learned in that time though has subtely but fundamentally shifted my approach to collaboration.
The big difference is where I once talked about facilitating collaboration, I now focus on creating ecosystems in which collaboration can thrive if it wants to. The difference seems small but the approach, at least for me has been profound. The biggest difference is that the "ecosystem" approach recognizes the central role of convening around self-interest, and puts the onus on the nature of collaboration on the people who come together. In other words, this approach disintermediates the community organizer, an inherently temporary force with imperfect information, from the community that will be charged with implementing any partnerships and reaping the consequences, good or bad.
Community development folks out there - particularly those coming from backgrounds like asset based community development or appreciative inquiry - will probably be thinking "duh" at this point. The role of the organizer is always about revealing the assets that exist and allowing people to take charge of how those resources are put together.
But this shift is easy to loose site of. In the heat of agreement about the vital importance of collaboration, it's easy - at least in the communities that I've been in - to remember how fundamentally messy and democratic the collaborative process actually is. It mandates, I think, more and more attention to the vital intersection between online and offline.
Who is most effective at facilitating collaboration out there currently? What lessons can we learn from them?
Creating Ecosystems for Collaboration Around Social Innovation
by Nathaniel Whittemore
category: collaboration
Published June 12, 2009 @ 09:56AM PT
(One of my students and his partner in a collaboratively-designed after school sports program in Kampala, Uganda, 2007)
Andrew Wolk has a short but important post up about his recent attendence at the Future Trends Forum in Madrid, Spain. In it he shares one of his major take-aways about a new take on collaboration:
I left Madrid with two takeaways I thought were worth sharing. The first was a general agreement that we have been too focused on scale by replication, and have not thought enough about scaling ideas. While this is not new for this blog, I heard a new angle on what should be an increased emphasis on collaboration. As one attendee put it, we do not need another water filtration system to solve the world’s clean water access problem; rather, we need to bring everyone working on the issue of clean water together to collaborate and work on a distribution system of the best solutions.
I'm a member of an extremely collaborative generation. Our use of social tools, our experience in group based learning and other factors have predisposed us to working together where possible.
For example, I'm the member of the Consortium for Student Global Service, a group of student-founded global service organizations that convened to support the work of peer groups, and which has recently collaborated with Change.org on the new Global Service blog. What is interesting to me about it is that I know for a fact that these organizations have to, by definition, compete for resources. There simply aren't enough institutional founders for all of us to get our big pay day. The tone and tenor of the group though is all about the idea that each of the different groups have something slightly different and complementary to offer one another, and that rather than competing for the scraps off the donor table, we should be thinking about ways to better leverage our networks and get creative about social enterprise strategies to generate the resources we need to thrive.
Moreover, my work with the Northwestern University Global Engagement Summit and my new startup Assetmap has all been focused, to greater or lesser degrees, on enabling great people and ideas to find one another in order to create something magical. What I've learned in that time though has subtely but fundamentally shifted my approach to collaboration.
The big difference is where I once talked about facilitating collaboration, I now focus on creating ecosystems in which collaboration can thrive if it wants to. The difference seems small but the approach, at least for me has been profound. The biggest difference is that the "ecosystem" approach recognizes the central role of convening around self-interest, and puts the onus on the nature of collaboration on the people who come together. In other words, this approach disintermediates the community organizer, an inherently temporary force with imperfect information, from the community that will be charged with implementing any partnerships and reaping the consequences, good or bad.
Community development folks out there - particularly those coming from backgrounds like asset based community development or appreciative inquiry - will probably be thinking "duh" at this point. The role of the organizer is always about revealing the assets that exist and allowing people to take charge of how those resources are put together.
But this shift is easy to loose site of. In the heat of agreement about the vital importance of collaboration, it's easy - at least in the communities that I've been in - to remember how fundamentally messy and democratic the collaborative process actually is. It mandates, I think, more and more attention to the vital intersection between online and offline.
Who is most effective at facilitating collaboration out there currently? What lessons can we learn from them?
11 June 2009
Covering Myself
As a recent, jobless graduate I have begun the tedious task of writing cover letters. It is almost replacing the projects and papers I had to write as an undergrad but not quite. The topics aren't as varied and the content not as interesting, mainly because the topic I have to write on is me. And what do I write about myself meeting the qualifications of the post that others applying have not also written?
Through out elementary and high school the teachers try and help you blend into the pack as much as possible. Whether this is a good thing or not is up to debate and would have to be an entirely different blog post. But they try and make you conform, be quiet, respect your elders, learn your lessons, answer correctly and ignore questions they don't have answers to. C'est la vie. But what happens to people who have come through this system and then need to stand out from the 9.1% of other unemployed people in this country?
I have no answer to this. I've always stood out in a crowd. At 5'9", (probably closer to 6' as I frequently wear heels), gangly and loud, I've never been the quiet wallflower. I've always pressed questions on teachers and written things my way, which is perhaps why I am having such issues on the cover letters. I want to write about all the great things I've seen and done that relate to this job posting. How I would like to do things, what I could learn from this organization, why I would like to live in that city etc. Unfortunately for me they frown upon 5+ page cover letters. So I must condense myself to fit one page of information while also explaining to the company why I would like to work for them and what we can do to help each other. UUUUGH! My personality does not like this. It feels it is too big to fit upon one page! Yes, I'm referring to my personality in third person.
It's like a resume; after 5 years of work experience, how do you get it all on one page? How do you get all of your feelings and ideas about this job post and yourself across to these people, conform to their standards and then still have a catch phrase that makes you stand out?
I believe it is this conundrum which forces people in to corners, and wills them to bs their way through the qualifications. I don't like this. Because if I have to bs, inevitably I will slip up and tell on myself. And while I'm sure not all people fall to this trap and some people are honest or don't need to bs to sound that good then where does this leave me? Should I bs like my peers and raise myself up? Or should I tell the truth and hope that I am good enough? Right now I'm going for the second of the two. But let me tell you it isn't easy. Writing individualized cover letters is so much time. I swear, the companies reading them (if they do actually read them), would spend their time better by just calling up the candidates and giving them 5 minutes to explain why they want the job. It would probably be more informative than any glossed over, rewritten cover letter.
*Sigh* but as this isn't going to change any time soon, I suppose it is back to the dreary task of trying to describe myself, ambitions and contributions in 700 words or less.
Through out elementary and high school the teachers try and help you blend into the pack as much as possible. Whether this is a good thing or not is up to debate and would have to be an entirely different blog post. But they try and make you conform, be quiet, respect your elders, learn your lessons, answer correctly and ignore questions they don't have answers to. C'est la vie. But what happens to people who have come through this system and then need to stand out from the 9.1% of other unemployed people in this country?
I have no answer to this. I've always stood out in a crowd. At 5'9", (probably closer to 6' as I frequently wear heels), gangly and loud, I've never been the quiet wallflower. I've always pressed questions on teachers and written things my way, which is perhaps why I am having such issues on the cover letters. I want to write about all the great things I've seen and done that relate to this job posting. How I would like to do things, what I could learn from this organization, why I would like to live in that city etc. Unfortunately for me they frown upon 5+ page cover letters. So I must condense myself to fit one page of information while also explaining to the company why I would like to work for them and what we can do to help each other. UUUUGH! My personality does not like this. It feels it is too big to fit upon one page! Yes, I'm referring to my personality in third person.
It's like a resume; after 5 years of work experience, how do you get it all on one page? How do you get all of your feelings and ideas about this job post and yourself across to these people, conform to their standards and then still have a catch phrase that makes you stand out?
I believe it is this conundrum which forces people in to corners, and wills them to bs their way through the qualifications. I don't like this. Because if I have to bs, inevitably I will slip up and tell on myself. And while I'm sure not all people fall to this trap and some people are honest or don't need to bs to sound that good then where does this leave me? Should I bs like my peers and raise myself up? Or should I tell the truth and hope that I am good enough? Right now I'm going for the second of the two. But let me tell you it isn't easy. Writing individualized cover letters is so much time. I swear, the companies reading them (if they do actually read them), would spend their time better by just calling up the candidates and giving them 5 minutes to explain why they want the job. It would probably be more informative than any glossed over, rewritten cover letter.
*Sigh* but as this isn't going to change any time soon, I suppose it is back to the dreary task of trying to describe myself, ambitions and contributions in 700 words or less.
10 June 2009
College of Charleston
First of I would like to thank my computer which has some how decided every time I want to type I must do so in the language of Hindi. While I appreciate its dedication to my learning of other languages and cultures, it is quite frustrating when you have no translation of what your reading. Symbols to nothingness only equals a pretty picture in my brain. That said, on with my post....
Yesterday President George Benson of the College of Charleston (CofC) announced to the administration that the only people who would be receiving raises this year were adjunct faculty members so that the students may get the highest level of education and interaction with the college possible. While I will agree that the adjunct are an important part of the college, as they teach the bulk of the classes, there are other people the students interact with on a daily basis who make it much more possible for them to be going to college.
Let me start this by reminding people I used to work in the Registrar's office of CofC. I also have worked at a college library, and have grown up in college administration thanks to my wonderfully patient and hardworking mother. I also have had to interact recently as a student and with different departments as a manager, and administrator and a pseudo-advisor on multiple occasions. This may or may not account for my different philosophies of the college experience from President Benson.
College of Charleston does many things well. First it, for the most part, employs faculty that are willing to work with the students. They want to interact with them, not just lecture them. I have sort of an odd degree from the Arts Management. This degree required me to take business classes as well as art classes so as to get the most of both sides of the equation. In addition to that I had to take gen ed requirements in History, Humanities, Mathematics, Science (in my case Biology) and English (if I hadn't tested out). Plus, I had to meet a 122 hour requirement to graduate, which meant I also took classes in our hospitality and tourism department, religion department, Arabic, Italian, French, and theatre. In every department I met teachers more than willing to help, mentor, or just chat with students. Many of them inspired me to continue pursuits of knowledge in their area. Because of them I got a great education, and yes most of them were adjuncts and more than deserve their raise.
The student government is also very good at petitioning for the students. They have gotten several minute things passed over the course of the time I spent there. But they are always trying to make it easier and better for the students of the college. They have also spun off a recycling and "greener CofC" chapter for the college. CofC is also great about student ticket pricing for events and performances on campus, they hold events that students may want to go into and they're fairly good at keeping the historic buildings dilapidation, bug and rat free.
However, they're not very good at paying the every day people. Which if you would want to make the students have an easy, happy interactive experience, are the first people you would want happy. I would think, I mean, keep the people happy who interface first and foremost with your students. These people are lucky if they get a 1% raise per year, most don't even make $30,000. If they are their, they probably work because they want to help the students.
Yesterday President George Benson of the College of Charleston (CofC) announced to the administration that the only people who would be receiving raises this year were adjunct faculty members so that the students may get the highest level of education and interaction with the college possible. While I will agree that the adjunct are an important part of the college, as they teach the bulk of the classes, there are other people the students interact with on a daily basis who make it much more possible for them to be going to college.
Let me start this by reminding people I used to work in the Registrar's office of CofC. I also have worked at a college library, and have grown up in college administration thanks to my wonderfully patient and hardworking mother. I also have had to interact recently as a student and with different departments as a manager, and administrator and a pseudo-advisor on multiple occasions. This may or may not account for my different philosophies of the college experience from President Benson.
College of Charleston does many things well. First it, for the most part, employs faculty that are willing to work with the students. They want to interact with them, not just lecture them. I have sort of an odd degree from the Arts Management. This degree required me to take business classes as well as art classes so as to get the most of both sides of the equation. In addition to that I had to take gen ed requirements in History, Humanities, Mathematics, Science (in my case Biology) and English (if I hadn't tested out). Plus, I had to meet a 122 hour requirement to graduate, which meant I also took classes in our hospitality and tourism department, religion department, Arabic, Italian, French, and theatre. In every department I met teachers more than willing to help, mentor, or just chat with students. Many of them inspired me to continue pursuits of knowledge in their area. Because of them I got a great education, and yes most of them were adjuncts and more than deserve their raise.
The student government is also very good at petitioning for the students. They have gotten several minute things passed over the course of the time I spent there. But they are always trying to make it easier and better for the students of the college. They have also spun off a recycling and "greener CofC" chapter for the college. CofC is also great about student ticket pricing for events and performances on campus, they hold events that students may want to go into and they're fairly good at keeping the historic buildings dilapidation, bug and rat free.
However, they're not very good at paying the every day people. Which if you would want to make the students have an easy, happy interactive experience, are the first people you would want happy. I would think, I mean, keep the people happy who interface first and foremost with your students. These people are lucky if they get a 1% raise per year, most don't even make $30,000. If they are their, they probably work because they want to help the students.
Most people in the Registrar's office, Career Center, and the advising office keep the college running for the students. (Not to neglect mentioning admissions, new student department, undergraduate studies, graduate studies, housing, maintenance, etc) The turn over in advising begins before most of the advisers even have a chance to memorize students' options. Partially because they moved them all to full time, ousting the faculty members working there part time, and secondly because the pay is so low, people quickly find positions elsewhere that pay more. The Career Center works hard keeping a minimal staff so as to keep ok salary compensation. They go class to senior class before each graduation trying to help students get jobs. They are there before graduation for help and they continue to help place students after graduation. The people at the Registrar's for the most part are dedicated to helping the students. I don't say this because I am partial to them. I do love many people in the office but there are others I can't stand. I can't generally stand them for one reason, they are not there to help the students or they do not learn their jobs, which kind of goes hand in hand.
Personality issues aside, because I worked there, I had many people ask me how to get something done with in the structure of the school, transcripts, financial aid, graduation applications, credit transfers, etc. Each time I sent them to a particular person in the Registrar's office who could help them, and each time the worker in the RO didn't have the answer they searched and made calls all over campus so the student could get their problem solved. This is the kind of dedication that gets unrecognized in the college and at most institutions and organizations. It's unfortunate to me that they don't get any credit or recognition for helping make the college run. With out these people the students wouldn't be able to register for classes, couldn't transfer in credits, couldn't get class advising, couldn't reserve class rooms for club meetings, couldn't use the library, couldn't get paid, couldn't get job help, couldn't get their transcripts, couldn't get their grades.....you see where this is going right? So why don't these people get a raise too?
I'm sorry but if your interests are in the students, or your customers, shouldn't the people most appreciated by the company be the people helping them? Perhaps management is important but anyone who has ever had to deal with a snarky customer service person knows that one bad experience there can taint your view of the entire company. Same goes in a university setting. So why are we causing these people to be mad at the university by not giving them a raise and undervaluing their service, when in fact it may be one of the most important? I'm sorry George Benson, but increasing tuition 7% next year, giving a little bit more financial aid and then putting the rest into buildings which were already supposed to be paid off and then not giving money to your administration seems like a terrible waste of a tuition increase to me. I would want my increase to go not only to the adjuncts but the people keeping my records and keeping me enrolled. But then again, what do I know? I'm just a student.
Broken Bones
So I broke my toe again today. And by again I do not mean the same toe but rather this is my second broken toe since January, and my forth broken toe in a span of three and a half years. No I am not what I would call accident prone. Clutzy perhaps, but accident prone brings to mind one of my male friends who seems to have at least 3 hospital trips a year for various avoidable but serious accidents such as, falling on and getting stabbed by a broken Captain Morgan's bottle, lifting a lamp to move it and in the process hitting a revolving fan with the bulb and getting his eye cut open, getting hit while driving over the old bridges in Charleston, by a soccer mom in a suburban and dangling perilously over the rail, and so on and so forth. Rather I suffer from a minor form of clutziness caused by years of being a dancer.
That's right, being a dancer leads to clutziness, or clutziness leads to being a dancer, I've never figured out which, but after 18+ years in the dance world I have learned that being graceful on an open stage with moving people is much easier than walking around my house with inanimate objects. I have several dancer friends who will attest to this. Sadly enough as we have also danced so long as to bruise our toes, create blisters and open cuts that do not permanently heal and stain our shoes with blood and sweat, a broken toe doesn't particularly phase us. If I were still in the ballet world I would simply tape it up and go back on point; as it is I think I'll tape it up and go run.
Running and Yoga have become my new past times. As my body feels the years of abuse it has taken from overstretched muscles, hours of overtime, dancing while sick/injured/exhausted, and generally moving in ways the body was NOT designed to move, I have had to give up dance and find other muscles to abuse. Don't get me wrong, I was never destined to be a professional dancer, too tall, too gangly, and too big, despite looking like Olive Oil, I still did my part to choreograph, teach, learn, and house manage as I had time for. As I got older and my body resisted, I have had to find other things to keep in shape.
I hate running; I do not enjoy it in the least. I know some of my friends (mainly the culprits who got me into it by dragging me across the Charleston Ravenel bridge, despite my protests) that love to run. In fact, the same friend who is accident prone, will go for multiple 3+ mile runs a day. I do not get this. It is above and beyond all my comprehension. I'm lucky if I can make myself run for a couple miles once a day. Just enough to keep the pounds off. My high school track coach would be devastated to see my running for "fun". The man tried for years to make me run long distance, despite my being good at short distances only, until I finally gave him my cleats and walked away. Though I gave him my cleats for an entirely different reason, the fact that I run in my spare time is absolutely mind boggling.
Yoga on the other hand I have come to love. I don't get the spirituality thing of it but I do get the athleticism. Perhaps its discipline, hard work, core structure and diversity all appeal to my former dancer. Most styles of yoga come from Astanga, Iyengar and Viniyoga; all can be broken down into a beginner level and advance to a master level. From any level you can branch out and transition into approximately 12 different styles, all building on basic fundamentals but stressing different alignments, flex points, temperatures and flow sequences. Different teachers and different styles appeal to different people. Big deal. But unlike pilates which builds on itself and generally has the same sequences and exercises from levels 1-100, yoga actually is tailored to the person doing it. And that's why I like it. You can take a "beginner" class with 25 other people and there will be people who have their feet behind their heads not breaking a sweat, while a person two mats down has his foot resting on the floor for balance and looks like he's going to die.
I always wondered what I would be doing for exercise after dance. I think it's something all dancers worry about. What will I do after dance? It's alot of time to fill and its a hole of passion. Most dancers only continue to dance because they love it; not because it's easy or comes naturally. Some people are fortunate to have the time and interest to choreograph. I found I could fill the passion peice of it by doing development work in non-profit art organizations. It never in my life occurred to me I would become a yoga fan or a runner (both forms of exercise I had adamantly resisted until the last year) to fill the exercise piece of it. Despite all my efforts to ignore what works for me, unfortunately these forms do. One I love, one I hate, but either way at least I'm staying healthy. Sure, in a few years I'm sure my knees will protest from the constant pounding and I'll have to try something else but for now I'm stuck on these. I suppose it's another way of life telling me I need to be open minded to all possibilities. So for tonight, I'm going to tape up my broken toe and go run.
That's right, being a dancer leads to clutziness, or clutziness leads to being a dancer, I've never figured out which, but after 18+ years in the dance world I have learned that being graceful on an open stage with moving people is much easier than walking around my house with inanimate objects. I have several dancer friends who will attest to this. Sadly enough as we have also danced so long as to bruise our toes, create blisters and open cuts that do not permanently heal and stain our shoes with blood and sweat, a broken toe doesn't particularly phase us. If I were still in the ballet world I would simply tape it up and go back on point; as it is I think I'll tape it up and go run.
Running and Yoga have become my new past times. As my body feels the years of abuse it has taken from overstretched muscles, hours of overtime, dancing while sick/injured/exhausted, and generally moving in ways the body was NOT designed to move, I have had to give up dance and find other muscles to abuse. Don't get me wrong, I was never destined to be a professional dancer, too tall, too gangly, and too big, despite looking like Olive Oil, I still did my part to choreograph, teach, learn, and house manage as I had time for. As I got older and my body resisted, I have had to find other things to keep in shape.
I hate running; I do not enjoy it in the least. I know some of my friends (mainly the culprits who got me into it by dragging me across the Charleston Ravenel bridge, despite my protests) that love to run. In fact, the same friend who is accident prone, will go for multiple 3+ mile runs a day. I do not get this. It is above and beyond all my comprehension. I'm lucky if I can make myself run for a couple miles once a day. Just enough to keep the pounds off. My high school track coach would be devastated to see my running for "fun". The man tried for years to make me run long distance, despite my being good at short distances only, until I finally gave him my cleats and walked away. Though I gave him my cleats for an entirely different reason, the fact that I run in my spare time is absolutely mind boggling.
Yoga on the other hand I have come to love. I don't get the spirituality thing of it but I do get the athleticism. Perhaps its discipline, hard work, core structure and diversity all appeal to my former dancer. Most styles of yoga come from Astanga, Iyengar and Viniyoga; all can be broken down into a beginner level and advance to a master level. From any level you can branch out and transition into approximately 12 different styles, all building on basic fundamentals but stressing different alignments, flex points, temperatures and flow sequences. Different teachers and different styles appeal to different people. Big deal. But unlike pilates which builds on itself and generally has the same sequences and exercises from levels 1-100, yoga actually is tailored to the person doing it. And that's why I like it. You can take a "beginner" class with 25 other people and there will be people who have their feet behind their heads not breaking a sweat, while a person two mats down has his foot resting on the floor for balance and looks like he's going to die.
I always wondered what I would be doing for exercise after dance. I think it's something all dancers worry about. What will I do after dance? It's alot of time to fill and its a hole of passion. Most dancers only continue to dance because they love it; not because it's easy or comes naturally. Some people are fortunate to have the time and interest to choreograph. I found I could fill the passion peice of it by doing development work in non-profit art organizations. It never in my life occurred to me I would become a yoga fan or a runner (both forms of exercise I had adamantly resisted until the last year) to fill the exercise piece of it. Despite all my efforts to ignore what works for me, unfortunately these forms do. One I love, one I hate, but either way at least I'm staying healthy. Sure, in a few years I'm sure my knees will protest from the constant pounding and I'll have to try something else but for now I'm stuck on these. I suppose it's another way of life telling me I need to be open minded to all possibilities. So for tonight, I'm going to tape up my broken toe and go run.
07 June 2009
Chicago Fun
Yesterday I got to escape the Quad Cities, and took a day trip to the wonderful Windy City. I have to say that despite having crappy weather for all of my visits up there except one, I have fallen in complete love with it. I have braved snow storms, downpours, ice storms, wind, and lightning to spend time up there. And anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm not likely to leave my house for anything on days like those.
This trip I checked out the Printer's Row Lit Fest in the South Loop. The Lit Fest is an exciting event for book event for any age. You can find anything from rare editions, to hand carved leather bound sketch pads, children's books or comic books. Some new sellers are around too. Author lectures, book signings, cooking demonstrations and children's activities are all FREE. With the exception of the Herold Washington Library which just requires FREE tickets.
It was a little overwhelming. Thousands of people packed into a couple mile area, elbowing each other to get at the books gets a little bit intimidating at times. Though I was just wandering to check it out, I think if you had something in particular you were looking for it, and much more patience for people than I do, it could be a real treat. The restaurants along the festival open their doors to invite people in. I can only imagine they pulled in all their staff to prepare for all the people but they had to do some bang-up business yesterday and today.
I also got to eat some wonderful ethnic food while I was up there. YUM! The one thing I've missed since moving out of Detroit some years ago, is the ability to find different foods and neighborhoods. Surviving on pizza and southern food in Charleston, only stays interesting for a short time; although they have expanded their food choices in the last year. And in the Quad Cities, it seems the good restaurants that serve more than steak and hamburgers, don't survive.
We ate lunch at a Thai restaurant called the Silverspoon on Rush Street. While it is not my FAVORITE Thai restaurant (which is actually owned by Russians in Birmingham MI) it serves really good food. Though it should considering it is next to the Thai Consulate. I stumbled across it a couple years ago when I was up there and every couple visits I stop in.
The other place we got wonderful food was Athena Restaurant on S. Halsted in the Greek District. Recommended by local friends, we wondered around Lincoln Park looking for the Athenian Room thanks to Sprint Navigation before realizing we had the wrong name. (BTW kinda fell in love with the beautiful neighborhoods around Lincoln Park. ) Finally finding the correct restaurant, I was stoked to get great saganaki, tzatziki sauce and Ionian pasta. I highly recommend both of these restaurants for anyone looking for good food!
Chicago is such a fun city! In the summer it's filled with free activities almost every weekend. The hotels are beautiful and you can find any type of food or event to satisfy your needs. Not to mention the people are friendly and helpful. I stopped by Dana Hotel and Spa where I have a reservation for a couple weekends from now and I have to say, I'm really excited to stay there. Normally I would stay at the Hotel Burnham down in the Loop. But I have some friends who are coming up from Charleston who wanted to stay closer to MI Ave. It will be my first stay at the Dana but the international atmosphere you walk into is more like walking into a hotel in Europe than in the US and that makes me very happy. Hearing multiple languages and accents always get my heart rate going with anticipation. I know, call me strange.
All in all, I had a wonderful day in Chi-town. I cannot wait to get to spend multiple days there later this month. I want to check out the pirate exhibit at the Field Museum and the Taste Festival in Grant Park. Always more to do there than I have time for! However now I must get back to my mundane life in Iowa and finish painting the living room....
This trip I checked out the Printer's Row Lit Fest in the South Loop. The Lit Fest is an exciting event for book event for any age. You can find anything from rare editions, to hand carved leather bound sketch pads, children's books or comic books. Some new sellers are around too. Author lectures, book signings, cooking demonstrations and children's activities are all FREE. With the exception of the Herold Washington Library which just requires FREE tickets.
It was a little overwhelming. Thousands of people packed into a couple mile area, elbowing each other to get at the books gets a little bit intimidating at times. Though I was just wandering to check it out, I think if you had something in particular you were looking for it, and much more patience for people than I do, it could be a real treat. The restaurants along the festival open their doors to invite people in. I can only imagine they pulled in all their staff to prepare for all the people but they had to do some bang-up business yesterday and today.
I also got to eat some wonderful ethnic food while I was up there. YUM! The one thing I've missed since moving out of Detroit some years ago, is the ability to find different foods and neighborhoods. Surviving on pizza and southern food in Charleston, only stays interesting for a short time; although they have expanded their food choices in the last year. And in the Quad Cities, it seems the good restaurants that serve more than steak and hamburgers, don't survive.
We ate lunch at a Thai restaurant called the Silverspoon on Rush Street. While it is not my FAVORITE Thai restaurant (which is actually owned by Russians in Birmingham MI) it serves really good food. Though it should considering it is next to the Thai Consulate. I stumbled across it a couple years ago when I was up there and every couple visits I stop in.
The other place we got wonderful food was Athena Restaurant on S. Halsted in the Greek District. Recommended by local friends, we wondered around Lincoln Park looking for the Athenian Room thanks to Sprint Navigation before realizing we had the wrong name. (BTW kinda fell in love with the beautiful neighborhoods around Lincoln Park. ) Finally finding the correct restaurant, I was stoked to get great saganaki, tzatziki sauce and Ionian pasta. I highly recommend both of these restaurants for anyone looking for good food!
Chicago is such a fun city! In the summer it's filled with free activities almost every weekend. The hotels are beautiful and you can find any type of food or event to satisfy your needs. Not to mention the people are friendly and helpful. I stopped by Dana Hotel and Spa where I have a reservation for a couple weekends from now and I have to say, I'm really excited to stay there. Normally I would stay at the Hotel Burnham down in the Loop. But I have some friends who are coming up from Charleston who wanted to stay closer to MI Ave. It will be my first stay at the Dana but the international atmosphere you walk into is more like walking into a hotel in Europe than in the US and that makes me very happy. Hearing multiple languages and accents always get my heart rate going with anticipation. I know, call me strange.
All in all, I had a wonderful day in Chi-town. I cannot wait to get to spend multiple days there later this month. I want to check out the pirate exhibit at the Field Museum and the Taste Festival in Grant Park. Always more to do there than I have time for! However now I must get back to my mundane life in Iowa and finish painting the living room....
05 June 2009
Opening of An Adventure
So as I begin this let me say three things:
1. This blog will have no common thread other than what happens to be on my mind that particular day.
2. I do not consider myself an expert on any topic; so please excuse any arrogant, ignorant, or incorrect remarks and please feel free to add your own opinion or correction of mine. I'm always open to learn new things.
3. I hope I can pass on new and interesting ideas, products, events and services that I find through out the day.
I do not hope to create a horrifically successful blog, nor do I expect more than maybe 5 people, (that is a few nosey friends and my mother) to actually read and have interest in my daily musings. That said here is today's pondering.
-------------------------------------------------------------
As I entered into the interesting world of (art) nonprofit administration work it was with little idea of what I would be getting into; I imagined beautiful galas, fantastic performances, compt-ed tickets, promotional offers and so much more. What I have found is a world of clashing egos, financial crisis, chaotic environment, lagging image and marketing principles, and a whole bunch of unhappy customers. Oh wait, I'm sorry, in the nonprofit world, we refer to these people as donors or patrons, not customers. Nor do the ideas and foundations of business apply to running of nonprofits. My bad, I was obviously confused.
I quickly learned than in the nonprofit world, or at least the ART nonprofit world, people were more interested in creating a fabulous "artistic product" that pushed boundaries and showed off new talent. What they were not interested in was finding money to install the piece, explaining the art to their audience, making sure that there was even an audience in their market, bridging the gap between the artist, the work, and the audience, balancing their budget, using donations as they were restricted, following the board of director's advice (if there was an active board at all) or working with media and donor relations.
Well great. So you have this "wonderful" piece of art that no one but the artist and the program team understands if even appreciates, you can't market it or get donations because no one gets it, you write them off as amatures, alienate those people supporting you, yell at the media because they don't have a trained enough eye and THEN get upset when you're bankrupt with no donor or media support and get told you uphold the standards of elitism.
Ok now what?
That's kind of the question for many art nonprofits out there. What does an organization do when it has not cultivated new members or donors, cannot pay the bills, has negative media attention, diminishing member retention, and is staring into the barrel of an unhappy gun which screams "YOU LOSE" and they happen to have aimed directly at themselves?
For decades many art, and also education, organizations have not paid heed to the warnings to develop an endowment or create a nest egg for future events. Instead they have believed, (albeit with some precedent set 30 years ago), that despite their lack of business principals and questionable monetary ethics, they would be bailed out by their large-wealth donors.
The Columbus Symphony found this out the hard way in 2008. Just short of their fiscal year they were $2.2 million in debt. Unlike in 2003 when their philanthropic community came in and bailed them out, their donors weren't as readily volunteering to step up to the plate.
As one Wall Street Journal Author put it:
"The crisis isn't for lack of an audience. Attendance in the 2,800-seat theater, a 1920s-era movie palace, was up 11% this year, and four of its 55 concerts were sellouts. The predicament was precipitated by several years of operating deficits and a history of problems in the boardroom. Donors finally refused to provide bailouts or "bridge funding" to tide the orchestra over, insisting that the board come up with a vastly trimmed annual budget." (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121383086628186513.html)
The Columbus Symphony did manage to barely stay afloat but heavy restructuring, 40% salary cuts and limiting orchestra size all took its toll on the symphony's sound and product it was able to produce. Donors and concert goers still keep a leery eye on the symphony to see if it will rebound.
Unfortunately they are not alone. There have been many articles written on failing art-producing nonprofits in the last 2 years. Some would say let them fall to the Darwinian "Survival of the Fittest" theory, while others grudgingly take out their wallets and write yet another check to keep them afloat. On top of it, according to a Bank of America study from the Center on Philanthropy, arts organizations lost approximately 70% of their donations between 2007 and 2008. (http://newsroom.bankofamerica.com/file.php/502/BAC-Study-HighNetWorthPhilanthropy.pdf) While health care has increased donations by approximately 50% and social clubs and causes are gaining support as well.
Sadly, this is not just because of Hollywood trends set by country-adopting Bradgelina or PETA supporter Pam Anderson. It is rather because as people are upset by the lack of consideration shown for donors and their money in the arts, people have begun to look for other causes to support. Aging baby boomers find solace in giving to health care and knowing they will be well provided for as they lay dying in comfy hospital suites in their name. Younger social injustice supporters following the trends want to give money where it will make a difference and help some one who really needs it-not a blowhard artist who sells his abstract subjective paintings for millions of dollars nor a symphony who plays old war-horses and has done nothing to incorporate new generations and new compositions for 30+ years.
Maybe it's time the art organizations start talking to their donors and audiences to see what matters to them. Give them feed back opportunities and advertise in places their demographics interact with on a daily basis. Make the community feel needed, important and a part of the organization. Find that old personal touch and "the customer is always right approach again. And above all, how about some financial transparency? It's not that hard to show the world what you're doing with its money when you're doing it ethically and legally! Utilizing business principals does not compromise artistic integrity. So why can't we step up to the plate, save our organizations, and ultimately put out a BETTER artistic product, which we can afford and attract audiences to? But that is just my BIG question for the day...
Some shout outs:
Check out Tara Hunt's book "The Whuffie Factor", penned as the new "Tipping Point", or "Freakanomics", she uses business practices, social networks, a new version of Karma and interesting products to explain how to build your business using social networks.
The Hangover opens today. I cannot wait to see it.
Sprint's new Lotus is incredible. Yes, it's tailored to the female population but it is easy to use, able to be personalized, has great screen and sound quality and has a full but SMALL keyboard. Only problem is it is a really strange size!
1. This blog will have no common thread other than what happens to be on my mind that particular day.
2. I do not consider myself an expert on any topic; so please excuse any arrogant, ignorant, or incorrect remarks and please feel free to add your own opinion or correction of mine. I'm always open to learn new things.
3. I hope I can pass on new and interesting ideas, products, events and services that I find through out the day.
I do not hope to create a horrifically successful blog, nor do I expect more than maybe 5 people, (that is a few nosey friends and my mother) to actually read and have interest in my daily musings. That said here is today's pondering.
-------------------------------------------------------------
As I entered into the interesting world of (art) nonprofit administration work it was with little idea of what I would be getting into; I imagined beautiful galas, fantastic performances, compt-ed tickets, promotional offers and so much more. What I have found is a world of clashing egos, financial crisis, chaotic environment, lagging image and marketing principles, and a whole bunch of unhappy customers. Oh wait, I'm sorry, in the nonprofit world, we refer to these people as donors or patrons, not customers. Nor do the ideas and foundations of business apply to running of nonprofits. My bad, I was obviously confused.
I quickly learned than in the nonprofit world, or at least the ART nonprofit world, people were more interested in creating a fabulous "artistic product" that pushed boundaries and showed off new talent. What they were not interested in was finding money to install the piece, explaining the art to their audience, making sure that there was even an audience in their market, bridging the gap between the artist, the work, and the audience, balancing their budget, using donations as they were restricted, following the board of director's advice (if there was an active board at all) or working with media and donor relations.
Well great. So you have this "wonderful" piece of art that no one but the artist and the program team understands if even appreciates, you can't market it or get donations because no one gets it, you write them off as amatures, alienate those people supporting you, yell at the media because they don't have a trained enough eye and THEN get upset when you're bankrupt with no donor or media support and get told you uphold the standards of elitism.
Ok now what?
That's kind of the question for many art nonprofits out there. What does an organization do when it has not cultivated new members or donors, cannot pay the bills, has negative media attention, diminishing member retention, and is staring into the barrel of an unhappy gun which screams "YOU LOSE" and they happen to have aimed directly at themselves?
For decades many art, and also education, organizations have not paid heed to the warnings to develop an endowment or create a nest egg for future events. Instead they have believed, (albeit with some precedent set 30 years ago), that despite their lack of business principals and questionable monetary ethics, they would be bailed out by their large-wealth donors.
The Columbus Symphony found this out the hard way in 2008. Just short of their fiscal year they were $2.2 million in debt. Unlike in 2003 when their philanthropic community came in and bailed them out, their donors weren't as readily volunteering to step up to the plate.
As one Wall Street Journal Author put it:
"The crisis isn't for lack of an audience. Attendance in the 2,800-seat theater, a 1920s-era movie palace, was up 11% this year, and four of its 55 concerts were sellouts. The predicament was precipitated by several years of operating deficits and a history of problems in the boardroom. Donors finally refused to provide bailouts or "bridge funding" to tide the orchestra over, insisting that the board come up with a vastly trimmed annual budget." (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121383086628186513.html)
The Columbus Symphony did manage to barely stay afloat but heavy restructuring, 40% salary cuts and limiting orchestra size all took its toll on the symphony's sound and product it was able to produce. Donors and concert goers still keep a leery eye on the symphony to see if it will rebound.
Unfortunately they are not alone. There have been many articles written on failing art-producing nonprofits in the last 2 years. Some would say let them fall to the Darwinian "Survival of the Fittest" theory, while others grudgingly take out their wallets and write yet another check to keep them afloat. On top of it, according to a Bank of America study from the Center on Philanthropy, arts organizations lost approximately 70% of their donations between 2007 and 2008. (http://newsroom.bankofamerica.com/file.php/502/BAC-Study-HighNetWorthPhilanthropy.pdf) While health care has increased donations by approximately 50% and social clubs and causes are gaining support as well.
Sadly, this is not just because of Hollywood trends set by country-adopting Bradgelina or PETA supporter Pam Anderson. It is rather because as people are upset by the lack of consideration shown for donors and their money in the arts, people have begun to look for other causes to support. Aging baby boomers find solace in giving to health care and knowing they will be well provided for as they lay dying in comfy hospital suites in their name. Younger social injustice supporters following the trends want to give money where it will make a difference and help some one who really needs it-not a blowhard artist who sells his abstract subjective paintings for millions of dollars nor a symphony who plays old war-horses and has done nothing to incorporate new generations and new compositions for 30+ years.
Maybe it's time the art organizations start talking to their donors and audiences to see what matters to them. Give them feed back opportunities and advertise in places their demographics interact with on a daily basis. Make the community feel needed, important and a part of the organization. Find that old personal touch and "the customer is always right approach again. And above all, how about some financial transparency? It's not that hard to show the world what you're doing with its money when you're doing it ethically and legally! Utilizing business principals does not compromise artistic integrity. So why can't we step up to the plate, save our organizations, and ultimately put out a BETTER artistic product, which we can afford and attract audiences to? But that is just my BIG question for the day...
Some shout outs:
Check out Tara Hunt's book "The Whuffie Factor", penned as the new "Tipping Point", or "Freakanomics", she uses business practices, social networks, a new version of Karma and interesting products to explain how to build your business using social networks.
The Hangover opens today. I cannot wait to see it.
Sprint's new Lotus is incredible. Yes, it's tailored to the female population but it is easy to use, able to be personalized, has great screen and sound quality and has a full but SMALL keyboard. Only problem is it is a really strange size!
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